Void Soul

I’ m glad to get the Thursday perfect poet award     http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/06/11/thursday-poets-rally-week-22-the-perfect-poet-award/

my   rosy dreams have faded

drooped , withered

and crumbled to ashes.

despondency  oozes

out of  the myriad cracks

in  my derelict  soul.

my wrinkled heart

beats listlessly ,  slowly

on the rythm of loneliness.

– 

under  the heavy tension

and the insufferable pain

my congested brain 

becomes a real bomb

ready to go off.

**************************

I nominate Tim Keeton for the perfect poet award, he possesses  huge  poetry talents.

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48 Responses

  1. wow!!!! beautifullllllllll!!!!

    please check out my blog and temme what you think!! would realllyyy love your opinion!

  2. Very intense last stanza. Nice!

  3. There’s something very raw about:

    “my congested brain
    becomes a real bomb
    ready to go off.”

    My favorite line of the poem.

  4. knock!!!!!

  5. This is such a moving piece. Excellent.

  6. A poet on his knees. Vividly brought.

  7. http://dorazsays.wordpress.com/2010/06/22/special-delivery-from-the-doraz-boutique-5/

    Please join me in wishing JINGLE a quick recovery.

    Thanks,

    Luisa

  8. What a moving emotion put together in such a well-written piece. All the elements weaved together into a tapestry in different shades of blue that’s heart-breaking. I ended reading the poem with a sigh.

    Thanks for visiting my webnook.

    I wish you well.

    ~ Jeques

  9. rahim, where are poems?
    😦
    are you alright my friend? take care of yourself. i miss your poems very much.

  10. sadness that fills this poem is immeasurable. in the ebb of the lonely tide against the moonlight is all that i feel this moment. your poem gave me an equally restless heart.

  11. simply let you know that No rally next week.
    feel free to take all 5 awards..
    hope that you have a fun day!

  12. beautiful poetry. btw which is the song playing? by Kinnet and Enya?

  13. my wrinkled heart

    beats listlessly , slowly

    on the rythm of loneliness.

    – loved this part.. something a lot of people can relate to.. well written! (:

  14. Hey.. Very heavy poem…loaded with very sad emotion of a depressing heart..

  15. digging the new header….railroad tracks have always been symbolic for me…

  16. when will you start writing everyday again?

    • Hi bassu, thanks for your comment; I ‘m really busy these days .I’ve got to invigilate in exams + correct hundreds of exam papers + deliberaions .so , it’s hard to be focused on writing in such circumstances.

  17. this is a very well written piece thanks for sharing!!!

    http://wp.me/p6cGB-5O

  18. Please return favors to poets who were here,
    Thank you in advance!
    😉

  19. Beautiful , tender , shades of overcast sadness a bittersweet poetry Very nice!

    Joanny

  20. I really find your imagery of a rose in the first stanza amazing, draws in real emotion. Excellent poem.

  21. Wow, I want to offer you a hug. Exquisite in its painful voyage. I like the header pic. Old routes forgotten…

  22. Thank you for sharing. Very evocative and sad.

  23. I love the strange and delightful words you used.
    I think the words themselves have a good cadence to them. Well done. 🙂

  24. despondency oozes

    out of the myriad cracks

    in my derelict soul.

    the despondency is palpable…well written

  25. dark but beautiful write…
    well expressed.

  26. wwooowww… brialliant poem there abder…

    you can read my poetry at
    http://megzone.wordpress.com/2010/06/17/thursday-poets-rally-a-stroll-through-neverland/

  27. That was powerful. Great words.

  28. Great poem. Very descriptive all the way through and summed up nicely at the end. Great job!

  29. very sad and full of dark despair.

  30. you poetry always possesses such clarity

  31. great depth of emotion and clear imagery. As usual, amazing. thanks

  32. Congratulations on the award!
    Very strong writing, passionate and descriptive this one you can just feel the emotions inside the words!

  33. Strong poem with perfect imagery and matchy words. Nice work Wordy…Cheers.

  34. very nice friend ,I no longer participate in the rally, however I will always come and read your work, bravo.

  35. Strong and beautifully written. If this is true, remember that you are not alone and that there will be brightness again. Heartspell

  36. Feel this one’s sadness, frustration,and more
    Well done,

    Peace,
    Laz

  37. Hello Rahim
    I totally agree with Suzicate “Eloquently Written,And Packed With Power and Emotion”!!! Wonderfully done!!
    I appreciate your visit Rahim and thanks for your comment,I’m a little busy moving,but I’ll visit again as soon as I’m settled,have a tremendous day.
    Luv ya 😀

  38. run for the hills before it goes off…i do hope that this is not your reality right now but a distant memory…there is hope yet…

  39. its the intensity that makes this a winner.. very well written- havent got mine posted haha!

  40. Assalammualaikum, Rahim.
    WOW..such a poignant poem,.
    I thought my favorite is the second last but your last stanza…
    YOU ROCK MY WORLD…
    so well done, my friend.
    hugs
    shakira

  41. well delivered poem…
    thank you for spotting Tim as the next winner.
    you are thoughtful!

  42. eloquently written, packed with power and emotion.

  43. Beautifully written Wordwand, I love it 🙂
    Warmly
    Marinela x

  44. A wonderful write Wordwand. The last two lines is very powerful. Sometimes we all do feel that like a time bomb we are ready to go off. Stress will do that to you. That is why I love taking prayer walks, it releases my stress, and it is so peaceful to walk and take in the beauty of nature.

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